'So who's your agent?'
It's a question I always feel slightly embarrassed by. People I talk to about writing just assume I must have an agent. I write for a living, don't I?
Well, yes, I do. I have a hot romcom feature that's ripe for European co-production. I have two very hot TV drama series pilots ready to go to the commissioning editors. And I'm working on a couple of books too. Not to mention that nice sideline in journalism.
But much as I enjoy the idea of having my own personal Ari Gold from Entourage telling me to 'hug it out, bitch', I've never had an agent, and for most of my writing life I've never tried to get one.
There have been the occasional forays into query letters and phone calls with the odd person who might be a good bet to represent me. But they've been few and far between and, for the most part, I've got along quite happily without needing one.
I know a few directors and producers and can collaborate on developing projects with them, and when one of those projects hits the big time I've always guessed that's when agents will approach me. Until then, would I be wasting a lot of time and energy pursuing them?
The excellent Bill Martell wrote about this recently in his blog. He's a writer who's had many scripts made into movies and never bothered with an agent or a manager. But when he thinks he might try what it's like to have one, he finds that their main business seems to be actively avoiding screenwriters who might make them money.
I realised a long time ago that every success I'd had with writing came about through networking. Everything happened through someone I knew, or someone I met in a bar, or someone they knew and introduced me to. And I hate networking so much that it would be a relief to have someone to do it for me.
But that's the thing. Most agents don't network for you. You still have to do all that yourself. So what are they actually for?
Some of you may be aware of the crisis going on at top agency PFD, which is hitting headlines in the media supplements.
While it's all no doubt dramatic, it's telling that almost all the fuss is over the big name clients and the cash cow literary estates.
The best piece I've read on the whole affair, though, comes from the pen of Martin Wagner, who writes wittily about the raw deal that many less glamorous writers get from their agents and points out how it might be better doing the leg work yourself anyway:
"...for most writers even having an agent who does nothing for you is better than not having one. Apart from the kudos, having an agent is also a safety-blanket that absolves writers from the responsibility of taking care of their own careers. I've been most successful since I stopped waiting for others - agents, producers - to do things for me."
Martin's new play is all about bad agents.
When I read stuff like that I wonder do I really want one. But then again, I spend just as much frustrating time waiting for directors and producers to get back to me when I've put in weeks of hard work on a new draft for them and all they have to do is spend one hour of their life reading the thing.
So maybe there's an agent out there who may be as good for me as I'll be for them.
I guess it's up to both of us to show each other how good.
